The internet is full of advice on what to do if your going through a breakup. But what about when it’s your BFF? Although you may be cheering on the inside (we’ve all been there) that you have your best friend’s full attention back, they’re sitting at home crying. It can be really hard to feel like you’re there for someone, especially if you can’t be with them 24/7. Here is a list of DOs and DONTs when it comes to consoling your BFF:
- Tell them to rant it out. You are going to get bored of hearing the same thing over and over again, but this is what your BFF needs. Letting them get their anger out, is productive and they know you’re a safe person to rant to. WIN-WIN (sort of).
- Recommend they write things down. Nobody wants to be the person that goes crazy and constantly texts/calls/bothers their ex. Anytime your BFF feels like they have something they need to tell their ex, tell them to write it down. Writing it down will get it out of their system/off their mind, and prevent them from contacting you know who. They will also feel really satisfied later, if they weren’t the one who initiated contact first.
- Remind them that it’s okay to cry. Crying is important! Similar to ranting, they are going to feel better, faster, if they let out all the sad emotions. Keeping things bottled up will hurt them in the long run, get it all out!!
- Tell them to make lists. Make good lists and bad lists. Tell them to spill: all the things they didn’t like about their ex, things they’ll miss, things they won’t miss etc. When a person has been co-dependant for a long time, it feels really hard to find independence. Early in the break-up, recommend lists about the ex. As time passes, recommend different lists like: things they enjoy, hobbies they like, things they’re thankful for, etc.
- Tell them generic phrases, like “there’s plenty of fish in the sea” or “you were too good for him anyway”. They literally could not give two shits. Saying things like this aren’t helpful.
- Recommend they “get back out there”. Encouraging your friend to sleep with a random to get their mind off their ex, won’t do them any good! Although it may seem like a good temporary fix, using someone else doesn’t help them get their independence back! They need to go through the grieving process with themselves, before getting intimate with a new person.
- Make them feel bad for being sad. Patting them on the back and saying “get over it”, shows your BFF you don’t support them. If you’re a person who’s really bad at comforting people while they’re crying, try making them laugh. Send them relatable meme’s or an inside joke.
- Get impatient with them. I promise in time they’ll be back to normal. For now, let them talk about their ex for hours, sulk and be a bit of a diva. Soon enough, you’ll have your fun-loving, crazy best friend back, and one day they just might return the favour!