To the BOY whom I thought was the love of my life

To the BOY whom I thought was the love of my life

To the BOY whom I thought was the love of my life:

 

I hope you are happy.

 

No really. I mean it! I hope you are happy. 

 

When we broke up, I was shattered. I had never trusted, connected with or loved anyone as much as I did you. My life seemed dimmer without you in it, but you know what? Everything became so bright and so clear, again. 

 

I have never been a woman to measure my worth by who is my lover or partner. I'm my own flawed, exuberant, high strung and independent person. I don't fall easily, but I do fall hard. I fell hard for you. I loved you more than I thought possible, and it was exhilarating, terrifying and wonderful. I learned so much from you. 

 

You broke through my insecurities and helped me to love myself as much as I should. It is because of you that I was able to move on and learn to be alone and be myself, all by myself, so quickly after we broke up. You weren't as secure in yourself or our love as I was, otherwise you wouldn't have strayed to another's embrace, but I am so thankful you did. You weren't good enough for me, and if you hadn't shown me that, I might have married you. I might have had kids with you. I might have been stuck in a dishonest and unhappy marriage if I had loved myself less. 

 

You are not the reason for my happiness and resilience- no one can take those virtues away from me. I choose to be happy, just like I chose to let a new MAN in. I think about you, from time to time, and I truly hope you are happy. I hope you have found someone that loves you the way you deserve to be loved. The way you love yourself. I hope you have become a real man. 

 

Thank you for what we had, and thank you for allowing me to see that I deserve so much more. I have everything I want now, and I am so happy.

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